


Start Over and Try Again

by twitch



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Awkward Dates, Developing Relationship, Established Poe Dameron/Finn, First Dates, Flirting, Holidays, Hux and Kylo have a lot to learn, M/M, Misunderstandings, New Year's Eve, Pining, Poe and Finn make it look so easy, Pre-Relationship, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-28 19:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16729041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twitch/pseuds/twitch
Summary: Hux and Kylo always see each other at the bar, chatting and flirting yet ultimately pining. When Hux finally asks Kylo out things ought to look up, right?Instead they blunder on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aiambia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiambia/gifts).



> This could also be a how-to guide for how to date and become boyfriends. Hux and Kylo need a lot of help.
> 
> I intended to write this as a one-chapter story but I later added a second chapter, seeing how things weren't fully resolved in the first chapter. Hopefully this ends on a more promising note with chapter two.
> 
> To Aiambia, I hope you enjoy this!

Clichés sometimes served a good purpose. There were authors so good at their trade that even a common idea or concept was raised to a higher grade of excellence, be it by their style, or the characters and plot. On that same note some movies were held as classics for how well they utilised or flipped the clichés.

Yet his love for autumn and rainstorms had been utilised for great hilarity, or so he assumed by anyone who saw him. There weren’t that many people in the park, let alone walking alongside the street he saw up ahead. He enjoyed a good storm, rain or with thunder and lightning, normally from the dry side of a windowpane. A walk in a light rain was sometimes soothing. And all the colours of autumn, the brisk scents carried on a nippy breeze, was one of his favourite aesthetics. 

But bustling into the bar, stomping and rustling his coat as best as he could in the vestibule, he couldn’t free himself from all the leaves that were plastered against him in the downpour.

“Look what the storm dragged in!”

“I’m not quite sure what that is.”

“It looks like someone went swimming in my leaf pile.”

Friendly as the bartenders normally were he made a point of ignoring their remarks. If he had walked close enough to them he would’ve flicked the bird to them, hoping to get them slightly damp. However he had already seen Phasma and was making his way towards her.

“You’ve seen better days,” she remarked, smirking when he was close enough.

“Some jerk from work stole my umbrella.” Freeing himself of his coat, and most of the wet, he hung it up on the nearest pillar, taking the hook furthest away from the one Phasma was using for hers. Perhaps once it was dry enough he’d have better luck brushing the leaves off. Much as he didn’t want to, he bent his leg, angling his hand behind him to tear the few leaves that didn’t come off his soles. They were slimy in his hand, tore to bits rather than come off in one piece, and there was no receptacle to dispose of them in. “I took the shortcut through the park which is why I look like some… woodland creature.”

“Give yourself some credit, you look good as a dryad.”

“I’ll take your word for that.” His hair style ruined, gel no match against heavy rain, he used his other hand to sweep his bangs to the side, finding a leaf sticking to his fingers for his effort. “How many more leaves do I have on me?”

“A few more.” With a quick wiggle of her eyebrows Phasma took a sip of her drink. “They give you a charming rustic look.”

Grunting under his breath he held onto his leaves. “I’m using the washroom.”

“Do you want me to start your drink?” It was Rey who called to him, waiting behind the bar. At least she had the decency to not giggle when he nodded to her.

“Rye, neat.” 

She nodded to him when he passed her. A quick trip to the washroom, finally getting rid of the leaves and washing his hands, meant that he paid and picked up his drink a minute later. The weather had kept most of the patrons out of the popular bar. It still caught him by surprise when fingers smoothed down the back of his hair, trailing over his neck. A few beads of water trickled there but were dabbed away with the gentle touch. 

The warning on his lips fell away when he realised it was Kylo. He almost scowled when he realised Kylo was holding an orange leaf.

“You missed one.” The smile on Kylo’s face wasn’t mocking like the ones the bartenders had spared him. It softened his resolve and eased the tension out of his shoulders. 

“So it seems.” Huffing, almost smirking, he took the moment to take in Kylo’s hair, effortlessly styled in his easy touchable look that made his own fingers itch. “You look nice and dry. Did you get in before the storm?”

“No, but I made it in before it started pouring. It was just spitting.” And long enough for Kylo to be at the bottom quarter of his beer. “I’m waiting on Poe, who I imagine has been held up by the storm.”

He murmured his agreement to his glass but kept his gaze on Kylo. “It is bad out there. Have you been waiting long?”

“About half an hour.”

Even by Poe’s standards that was late. He did remind himself that he too had been late for his happy hour date with Phasma, despite his dash through the park. “Do you want to sit with me and Phasma while you wait?”

“I’m okay over here,” Kylo assured him, setting the leaf down to pick up his beer. 

He hoped that the twitch that threatened to pull the corner of his mouth down wasn’t visible. “If you change your mind the offer still stands.”

Kylo settled back on his stool. His mind was hazy, perhaps fooled into illusions by water on the brain, that Kylo had been intentionally leaning closer to him. “I’ll remember that.”

He busied himself with another sip before he fully turned away. He settled his eyes to a half-way droop while passing the other patrons that led to the booth Phasma claimed for them. She was privy to the heavy weight, the longing under pale lashes, cast in the direction where Kylo sat.

“Oh Hux.” Phasma’s voice low enough for only him to hear, Hux set his glass down before combing his hair back again. He purposely tangled his fingers in, to hide the wringing gesture he made. 

“Don’t ‘Oh Hux’ me.” It wasn’t quite a scolding but he did sit up straight, hands pressing flat to the table before easing his shoulders back and straight. Met her gaze. “He’s waiting on Poe.”

“And how long have you been waiting on him?” The roll of his eyes was all the answer Phasma needed. “I have lost track of all the times you two have flirted. If flirting is all you want that’s one thing. But I know you, you only go after something you expect to get. Just ask him on a date.” 

“He didn’t even want to sit with us to wait.” Hux took a larger drink of his rye, needing to wash down the rejection.

“You know the effect I have on men.” Grinning around her straw she gave him a look that she usually used in a court room. “I intimidate them.”

He couldn’t argue that. More than that, he hoped that Kylo agreed with him.

*

Happy hour dates were a necessity to make it through the week. Regularly scheduled on Wednesdays unless work related conflicts came up, it was the means to celebrate three days of successfully not berating coworkers. Hux rarely had reason to start anything with the men and women in the department he worked in. Rae knew how to use their strengths to better the business and themselves in turn. It was only when he had to interact with the heads of the other departments that he had to remind himself that everyone else wasn’t as organized or efficient with their work. Peavey could pull it all together when it got to the grind but Canady’s department always looked like it was ready to implode.

Friday night he could cast all work-related duties aside. He had settled in to finish the book he’d spent the last two weeks reading, sitting in the chair that was angled by the window that he could glance outside when he wanted to. Tonight he was on the warm side, sheltered from the light rain that made the streetlights tremble within the puddles.

Morning came, sky a steely blue. The sun was trying to peak through the quickly moving clouds. A few puddles remained, in the shadowed recesses of the trees behind the main library branch. It was the first weekend that the Christmas market was open. He wasn’t looking for anything specific but hoped that he would find something for Phasma’s birthday. Poor Phasma, he thought, chuckling quietly. The two words didn’t match unless he was considering the circumstance of her birthday being a week before Christmas. 

What he did find was a thick, soft scarf. The deep burgundy, and the longer than average drape, would’ve been perfect for Kylo. 

Dropping the fabric he dug his nails into his palm. Shook his head and continued browsing, stall after stall.

Five minutes later and he returned, paying then tucking the scarf into the cloth bag that should’ve been carrying Phasma’s gift. 

He was trying to get past the queue that was waiting to purchase cider at the sweet-smelling stand at the end of one of the rows when he saw a dark-haired man standing shoulders above the crowd. The drape of the hair was unmistakeable. Hux was ready to hightail it to the next path, the next series of merchants, but with a deep breath that flared his nostrils he strode towards Kylo.

“Getting in the Christmas spirit?” Hux asked once Kylo turned to respond to the tap he placed on his shoulder.

“Yes? Well – no.” Kylo cast him an apologetic look, which he didn’t understand until Kylo elaborated. “Waiting for Poe.”

“Again?” Hux normally had nothing against Poe, he was a cheerful guy but not in a grating manner, but he certainly had a monopoly on Kylo’s time. He was starting to get the impression that to get Kylo out on a date he would have to ask Poe first. He was ready to comment on the matter but cocked his head. “Wait – did Poe ever show up on Wednesday?”

“No.” Hux felt as exasperated as Kylo looked but at least Kylo managed a wry look. “Which is ridiculous considering he was the one to ask me out.”

Hux chuckled despite the sick feeling in his stomach. “He stood you up?”

“He had to work late.” 

“You should’ve joined me – us.” Hux hastened to correct himself. Grateful that his scarf hid the flush on his neck and the pink on his cheeks could be excused by the cold wind.

“I should’ve.” Despite the crowd around them, grumbling as they took up valuable walking room, Kylo wasn’t looking away from him. Eyes unwavering and he hoped, for he felt himself warming under the look, fond.

He could do with a drink with how dry his throat was. Something cold to counter the heat that built up in his belly and loosen the tight hold around his heart. “Do you want to walk with me while you wait?”

“I’m supposed to wait here for them.” To further remind him that he was only an intermediary point for Kylo’s day Kylo’s phone rang. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he gave him an apologetic smile. “See you around.” 

Gritting his teeth once he had turned away from Kylo Hux only made it a few steps. The fingers of the hand carrying the bag dug into his palm but not out of indignity. He was here to shop for Phasma but Phasma’s words returned to him.

He bumped into another shopper, apologised, before clamping his free hand around Kylo’s elbow. “Poe where are –“ Jerking around, scowl at the ready, his expression softened. “Yeah? – No, not you Poe. Hold on.” Lowering his hand and phone he waited. 

“Are you free anytime to do… something?” Movies weren’t usually his thing but to get some time alone with Kylo he was willing to do anything. “Just the two of us. Bar? Movie? Restaurant? Or you can choose.”

“Yeah! Of course.” The eagerness in his first answer, and the subsequent attempt to downplay it, had Hux fighting back a smile. “How about the new restaurant down the road from the bar?” 

His lips did a funny thing, nearly smiling, but when he bit his lip one corner remained up. He told Phasma Wednesday night that he really wanted to go to the restaurant. Clearly Kylo had overheard him. “That would be perfect. Does Friday work for you?”

“It should, but I don’t know what time I’ll get out of work,” Kylo mentioned.

Hux grabbed his own phone from his pocket, unlocking it hastily before extending it to Kylo. “Give me your number. I can text you so you get my number, and then we can decide on a time.” In passing his phone over to Kylo he received Kylo’s phone, hearing Poe chattering away as if not hearing Kylo telling him to wait. 

“There you go.” Their fingers touched when Kylo handed his phone back. Knowing how those fingers felt against his neck it was a poor substitute but Hux held his hand steady, relishing the way they nearly linked together. 

Still missing a gift for Phasma when he returned home he immediately pulled his phone out of his jacket, texted Kylo. 

Seconds later a text notification came up on his screen. Accompanied by Kylo’s name and a single word.

_Great!_

He forgot about the need to shop for Phasma’s on Sunday, still riding high on the upcoming date. Several texts later they decided on dinner at seven and post-dinner drinks at another bar a few blocks away. He spent his hours away from work deciding what he should wear for dinner, preparing for the event and if he needed to do laundry or take items to the dry-cleaner. Wednesday he realised he had yet to decide on a gift for Phasma let alone purchase it. It was their happy hour date that made him realise his error. He made it up to her by buying their drinks for their evening.

Not that she knew she had apologising to do. And it didn’t feel like a favour when he placed all his orders beside Kylo, their arms brushing as they chatted, eyes lingering on each other longer than usual. 

What looked like a movement to set his beer bottle down resulted in Kylo’s thumb brushing against his wrist. And if that didn’t have his breath catching, smile bubbling to the surface, he had the texts that Kylo had been sending him each night since Monday, the two texting before Hux settled in to sleep. All seemingly related to their date. 

Thursday night, phone on his chest, he waited for Kylo’s answer. Typically they texted each other back and forth, less than a minute apart in response. Kylo was slower tonight but the texts kept coming. He trailed his fingers along his sternum, reminding himself to be patient. Wondered what it would feel like to feel Kylo’s chest muscles. Fingers tracing and hands squeezing.

Wetting his lips, sliding his hand lower, he recoiled when his phone dinged.

_For fuck’s sake! I’m not going out with you!_

Head snapping back, landing against his pillow, he huffed. Blinked at Kylo’s name accompanying the text. Refused to believe the sound that escaped his throat was a whine. 

He was in the process of stomping out of bed, putting his phone on his dresser, trying to control the rough breaths that were threatening to become sobs, but stopped. Unlocked his phone. Nearly deleted Kylo’s contact. 

Moved his thumb down from the waistbin on the screen.

Jabbed the screen as many times it took to block Kylo’s number.

*

Fridays alone were a good reason to get out of bed. Within ten hours he ought to be out and free for the weekend. Friday he woke up with nimble feet and enthusiasm. He wasn’t beaming but the level of happiness surpassed his normal heights. 

Friday night he was glowering at the empty chair across from him. 

Texted and phoned without receiving an answer.

The next morning, a sunny Saturday that he had hoped he’d be spending in bed with his date, he tried one more phone call.

Proceeded to get shitfaced from afternoon onward until the nausea in his stomach was more heartache than the need to regurgitate all the alcohol he consumed.

Spent the Sunday sulking around his apartment. Didn’t need to worry about turning off his phone knowing that Poe was spending the whole day with his boyfriend. 

Kylo shuffled into work on Monday with a typical Monday mood. If his footfalls were slower and heavier than usual no one noticed. Despite his sour mood he tried his best to distract himself. The newest project on the line kept him very busy.

By Tuesday one of the boardrooms had been converted for himself and two others who were working one half of the project. Their goal, and the tools needed to accomplish it, had been discussed and now they were setting up a plan of attack over the large drawing board, wide enough that three people could work on it at a time. 

The drawing board already had some things sketched out on it, with contributions from all of them. Kaydel was entering the room, her arms weighed down with more supplies they needed, which allowed a voice to carry through the business suite. 

“Where is the shithead?”

It didn’t help that the reception desk was situated just inside the entrance, between the two hallways that consisted of offices and boardrooms. The two boardrooms were at the very front of the two hallways, for efficiency sake when they had outside partners taking part in the meetings. Kylo heard Poe loud and clear, aided by Poe pitching his voice loud for several people to stick their heads out of their offices.

Jessika, bless her, was quick to retort. “I’m afraid you’re going to have be more specific than that.” 

“Kylo Ren.”

Kaydel eyed Kylo as she stepped within the room, letting the door shut before drawling. “Oooo-ooooh.”

Bowed over the drawing board provided him with the dramatic effect of looking up to her through thick locks of hair. “It’s not what you think.”

“So someone isn’t pissed with you?” Snap asked from beside him. 

“Sometimes he uses it as a term of affection.” The door opening with a firm swing, hinges protesting, had all three of them looking back. Kylo’s lack of concern caught on the glare Poe had fixed on him. “Oh, no, not this time.”

Poe had freed his hand from the door but was holding it open with his shoulder, having crossed his arms, as if it would contain his ire. “We need to talk.” 

“Normally I would have time, but we need to get things finished before lunch time,” Kylo explained, wondering if it would be best to give Poe an apologetic look. He wasn’t searching for excuses, confirmed when Kaydel and Snap nodded. 

“I’ll meet you here.” Poe freed one hand to point him down. “You’re not getting out of this.” 

Kylo didn’t stop to think what Poe meant by that. Only watched him leave before refocussing on work. They didn’t even take a break even though Jessika brought in coffee for them from the kiosk on the main floor of the office building. They were still outlining and doing rough sketches when a knock came on the door. 

Poe had returned. “Come on Kylo, we’re talking now.”

A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed that three hours had passed. Getting up, and kneading his palm and fingers once he set his pencil down, he joined Poe at the door. Was about to excuse himself to grab his coat from his workstation but Poe had it hanging over his arm. 

Traipsing down the stairs behind Poe, coat on to prepare himself for the blast of cold outside, he decided to test Poe’s mood. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to Allain’s.” A popular lunch place, middle price range. It wouldn’t be too busy, making it easy to talk, and should either of them raise their voices even a fraction people would stare. So no yelling, not that Poe ever yelled. Though by the way Poe eyed him at the door, hand pressed to it to push it open, ready to brave the sidewalk rush, there was a smug yet righteous gleam. “You’re paying.”

Kylo nearly huffed but silently rolled his eyes. “And I’m paying because…?”

“You owe me for skipping out on dinner with me and Finn!”

Outside Poe’s voice was drowned out by a taxi blasting its horn. Kylo took his chance to huff undetected. “I told you-“

“You can tell me again – over my favourite cocktail.” With that parting shot Poe lead the way, striding forward with speed. 

Kylo’s longer strides ate up the distance though he had to dodge several pedestrians to catch up. “What about my texts? I told you on Thursday-” A delivery man had him stopping entirely, wheeling a cart loaded several large boxes high to the store right before Allain’s. Poe had disappeared inside but luckily when Kylo entered the bistro he found Poe requesting a drink from a server, at a booth midway down the longest wall. 

“You stood me and Finn up,” Poe stated once Kylo was seated across from him.

“And you and Finn have cancelled out on me several times. That doesn’t give you any reason to bitch me out,” Kylo countered, stretching his legs out to bump Poe’s shin with his feet.

“Thursday night-” Poe went quiet when his drink arrived, waited for Kylo to order his own drink, before resuming. “I had asked you that afternoon to come out for drinks with me and Finn. It might’ve not been a dinner but I wanted you to meet my boyfriend. It’s the least you could’ve done.” 

“I had to go to meetings Friday morning, early meetings – there was no way I was going out, as I told you then.” Kylo shook his head only to comb his hair out of his face. “I assure you I’ll meet him – I want to meet him, but we haven’t been able to organize anything for the past two weeks. I’ve been busy, or you or Finn is busy. It’s not worked.”

“The least you could’ve done was tell me.”

“How many times have I told you?” Leaning forward incredulously Kylo couldn’t help but stare in bewilderment. “And how could you have not figured out I wasn’t coming based on my last text?” 

“Your last text?” Almost huffing into his glass Poe took a sip. “You mean ‘I can’t be late for my meeting’?”

“That was not my last text.” Taking his own glass from the server when she returned to their table he nodded his thanks towards her. Cocked his head and rolled his gaze back to Poe. “Check your damn phone.”

His vision was out of focus by the abrupt shove of Poe’s phone into his face. Putting a few inches between his nose and the screen he narrowed his eyes, glancing over the conversation he and Poe had over text from Thursday night. Blinked when the last text was from Poe, unanswered: 

_Kylo: I can’t be late for my meetings._

_Poe: One drink won’t make you hungover. Just come out, twenty minutes – tops._

Poe matched Kylo’s cocked head. “What was this supposed last message of yours?”

Suppressing the urge to growl Kylo grabbed his phone from his pocket, swiping it open to his home screen. Thumb even more prone to mis-hits in his annoyance it took a few tries to open up his messages and then the dialogue with Poe.

The last message in their conversation was indeed Poe’s line. 

Confusion didn’t last long. It was half a second’s worth before dread sunk in, breath catching and stomach plummeting.

“Oh no…” Mumbling, cursing his thumbs and Thursday night conversations, he backed out of his and Poe’s conversation thread. With a trembling thumb he hit the conversation with the contact who was just above Poe. Praying for all miracles he read through the text messages he sent Friday night. 

“SHIT!” 

Poe was accustomed to the outburst, but the volume and the banging of a fist on the table had him freezing. “Should – I ask?”

Kylo was speaking to the table, or as much of the table he could speak to where his hand wasn’t intruding. “You know how I told you I had finally got a date with Hux?”

“Yeah, how did it-?” The rest of the question faded away when Kylo lifted his head. All the years they had been friends he’d seen all sorts of emotions play over Kylo’s face, always so expressive, but he never saw such an extent of heartache and guilt. Guilt that hit Poe in the gut when he realised that Kylo had probably been arguing to not go out, not just for the sake of his meetings but also for the date he had – should’ve had the Friday night. 

“Oh shit,” Poe groaned, burying his face into his hands.

*

That explained why Hux didn’t return his text messages or calls. 

Kylo could barely function after lunch, back in the offices. He was more than grateful to let Kaydel take the lead during the afternoon, trying to be constructive but mostly nodding in agreement to what she and Snap were proposing. In the morning he’d arrive a half hour early, hopefully with some amount of clarity to figure out what had happened.

Sleeping on his misery didn’t help. Two cups of coffee were required to fake coherency and a good night’s sleep until he took his lunch break. 

Had it been any other week he would’ve gone out to the bar, waiting for Phasma and Hux to arrive, to wait for his chance to talk to Hux. He would’ve apologized rather than quietly watch Hux and Phasma chat. 

When his shift ended he plodded downstairs, ready to take the subway home, but felt someone snag him by the elbow. 

Poe’s grip was familiar but he wasn’t willing to be towed along in the opposite direction. “Poe, stop it, I’m not in the mood to go out. I’m going home.”

“When was the last time you treated yourself to dinner? And no, meals at the bar don’t count.” Poe walked with him, hand at elbow, casually as if they did this all the time. Perhaps he did with Finn but Kylo wasn’t going to ask him about that. 

Relenting to Poe’s dinner plans, and silently hoping that this wasn’t an impromptu dinner with Finn, he stopped with Poe at the nearest intersection. Crossed when the light indicated they could walk. “Where are we eating?”

“That is going to be a surprise.” Taking the stairs down to the westbound platform of the subway Poe kept a firm grip on him, knowing that he may take the chance to disappear. “Trust me on this.”

“Would you like me to tell you how many times that statement of yours has led to trouble?” Kylo asked. Poe didn’t answer, trying to navigate to the turnstiles, dropping two tokens in, one for himself and one for Kylo.

The cramped quarters of the train were expected, and for how long he had to endure them he didn’t know, but about ten minutes later Poe was leading them out and onto the platform of whichever station they were getting off at. Kylo didn’t hear the announced stop or initially see the sign, not until Poe was bringing him along to the closest stairs. 

He hesitated, not weighing his feet down enough to resist Poe pulling him up. “Poe, what have you done?”

Poe didn’t answer him until they were street level, outside of the station. The closest intersection had a restaurant front designed from one side to the next, with a patio that although closed for the season was trimmed with Christmas decorations. 

“Last night Phasma made a reservation for herself and Hux. What Hux doesn’t know is that Phasma’s not her date,” Poe explained. Having freed his hand he was now straightening Kylo’s coat, smoothing out creases caused from the cramped train ride.

Kylo shook his head, batting Poe’s hands away. “You realise that as soon as he sees me he’ll walk out.”

“Tell him what happened. I’m giving you permission to blame me. But-” Holding his hands up in what would’ve been a gesture of defeat Poe smiled. “You’ll make it up to me when you and Hux meet me and Finn, so that I can apologise to him, and you and Hux can meet Finn.”

“If this even works.” 

“Phasma’s paid for a bottle of wine in advance, you better make it work.” The smile faltered, a hint of worry seeping through. “She wants you to make this work. Hux was pissed but more than that, he felt like you purposely mislead him.”

Poe gave his arm a squeeze before heading back down to the station. Kylo stood on the curb, knowing and needing that he needed to make it up to Hux, but it took close to a minute until he found the courage to take the first step, waiting for traffic to clear before crossing the side street. 

A glance inside the restaurant showed that it wasn’t too busy, unsurprising for the middle of the week. He took comfort in seeing the back of Hux’s head, seated as he was with his back to the window and door.

Taking a deep breath he stepped in, asking for Phasma’s table. Perhaps it was Phasma’s request but the hostess nodded, staying at her podium, allowing him to enter the dining area unescorted. Steeling himself, coaching his fingers not to stray to Hux’s shoulder once he was beside the table, he swiftly took a seat. 

Hux glanced up from the menu he was reading, gaze lazy but clearly put out by the late arrival. Recognising Kylo across from him his face quickly lined with indignation. Without a word he dropped the menu, pushing up with his feet to stand and leave. 

Kylo reached out lightning fast, probably squeezing too hard on Hux’s wrist to make him stay. Hux’s lips twisted more but before he could spit out any words, deserving as he was to receive them, Kylo turned pleading eyes on Hux and tried to reason with him. “I know I’m the last person you want to see, but Phasma wanted you to have the chance to eat here, knowing as well as I do that you’ve wanted to come for a while. Dinner is on me and I’ll be quiet if I need to but… I need to apologize for what was entirely my fault.”

“You’re damn right it’s your fault,” Hux hissed under his breath, aware that people were staring at them, for his own half-standing position and Kylo’s none too quiet but sincere words. “But that doesn’t give me any reason to have dinner with the man who told me, and I quote: For fuck’s sake! I’m not-”

The nearest diners made an effort to not eavesdrop on Hux’s rising voice, turning their gazes away with a visible jerk. Kylo didn’t cringe, despite the ingrained reaction, but let go of Hux. “I made a huge mistake, and I know I may never gain your forgiveness, or trust, again, but… I’ve messed this up on my own. I’ve wanted to go out on a date with you since I first saw you. That text was meant for someone else, I never would’ve sent it to you because I would never give up a date with you. I want – I need to know more about you, but talking to you in a bar is not enough for me.”

Falling in love over alcohol was not enough for him. 

Standing up straight, closing his eyes slowly, Kylo watched as Hux shielded himself, putting up a distance that was more than the table between them. When his gaze found his again Kylo wanted to beg for forgiveness all over again, the remnants of rejection and hurt blinked away. He saw his attempts at being stoic but the sign that this wasn’t over, that Hux’s resolve was wavering, were his fingers twitching at his sides, ready to clench into fists with one wrong plea. 

“Please Hux.” He didn’t reach out again, lowering his voice, keeping his gaze on Hux’s, or trying to, as Hux didn’t look directly at him. “I will start over if I need to. Please let me explain.”

It was a small victory that Hux sat down. He brought his gaze back onto him, feigning disregard but unable to hide the hurt that remained. Without a sound he pulled his chair back in, waiting for him to start.

He didn’t sigh in relief. He tried a smile but more than that he kept his attention fully on Hux, thankful for the opportunity to prove himself and hoping to show Hux how he felt, from the remorse he felt and wanting to show him that he did adore him. Hux was willing to give him a chance and he would put everything into it, for the man he was well and truly in love with.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could easily be called "Hux and Kylo need a lot of help."

Perhaps it was the need of familiarity. Or the want of a comfortable setting that wasn’t one’s home. With a request from Poe, Hux had been invited to the bar to meet his boyfriend. He had been told that Kylo would be there, a warning as much as a fact. 

Even though two weeks had passed since being sworn at by text, rejection and wariness still humming under the surface of his skin, he had done dinner and a couple of outings with Kylo. The dinner that started it all was not his idea of a good time but at least now he knew that Kylo intended to swear at Poe. 

Having decided to unblock Kylo’s number the next invitation, by actual phone call no less, was to go to an afternoon movie and grab a coffee afterwards.

The next time was sheer luck that they bumped into each other in a bookstore. Whether Kylo really needed his advice in choosing books to buy for his mom for Christmas and something recommended for himself, Hux had nowhere he needed to be. It hadn’t been a bad afternoon.

It was an uneasy series of interactions, always waiting for another slight. Granted he had been the one to commit the next one, an unplanned remark about sports teams. They had been willing to drop it after heated words grew louder and Hux made a mental note to never talk about football, American or British, ever again with Kylo.

He was hoping that the extra company of Poe and this Finn would make their interactions a little less awkward.

Loosening the burgundy scarf around his neck once he was in the bar, he spotted the three men, already in a corner booth. Poe and his boyfriend were seated together, facing towards the front of the bar, so it was Poe waving him over. Knowing that he would be seated beside Kylo he frowned inwardly. 

Kylo stood up to let him in, sliding onto the bench towards the wall. “Did you walk here?”

Hux nodded, making himself comfortable. “From the subway.” 

“I can give you a drive home afterwards,” Kylo offered.

“You don’t need to.” From the corner of his eye he noticed that Poe’s gaze seemed a little less warm, watching him with something that felt like disapproval. Probably judging him. Kylo had told him that he wanted to send the wrong-doing text to Poe but if Poe expected him to completely forgive Kylo than he would be disappointed with him. He nearly shrugged but turned his shoulder twitch into lifting his arm, reaching his hand out to Finn. “Nice to meet you, I’m Hux.” 

“Finn.” The smile he wore didn’t quite reach his eyes. Knowing his luck Finn had probably got the same story that Poe learned from Kylo. So much for a pleasant night out. And he didn’t have a quick way to leave now that Kylo had fenced him in.

“I don’t know that much about you, but I have to ask – how did you two meet?” Hux asked, nodding at Rey when she made her way to the table. The other three had their drinks but he was in desperate need of something, anything, to alleviate the tension building in his neck.

Finn’s smile did brighten that time, conveniently when he turned to flash Poe a fond look. “We ran into each other. No joke at all. Poe has a dog, this short little thing, but she is a cannonball when you least suspect it. Poe had been fixing his shoe, her leash under his foot, when she spotted a squirrel. Took off running after it, Poe in pursuit. She dodged me but Poe clipped me, and we both nearly fell.”

“Bebe knew exactly what she was doing,” Poe agreed with a laugh. “She recognises a cute guy at a distance that my eyes can’t equal. I had to trip into him to realise a handsome guy caught me. In all senses of the word.” 

“That was just over a month ago,” Finn said, and by the way their arms pressed together Hux knew they had shifted to hold hands. 

Hux eyes lingered on their unseen hands, hidden by the table. “I don’t usually go for cute but – that is cute.”

“What do you usually go for?” 

The tone of Finn’s question was meant to provoke, and the tension in his neck cramped outwards into his shoulders. He could even sense the shift and anticipation of Kylo beside him, waiting for something. To know that his efforts weren’t in vain.

Hux couldn’t be more grateful for Rey to arrive with his drink. 

In the right conversation Hux was often happy to join in but in this gathering, Kylo and Poe – Finn and Poe, and all three of them getting along like they knew each other for years, they were chatting amongst themselves. He was left to listen, commenting when a glance in his direction was a silent request for his thoughts. For the most part he furtively watched Poe and Finn, how much in love they were, leaning in close to one another, listening aptly when the other spoke. All the touches they shared. 

It left him feeling awkward as hell. Mentally alone. Physically he was all too aware that Kylo stretched his arm out over the lip of the padded back of the bench, fingers a top his shoulder, unspoken pressure points. An assumed claim. 

Twenty minutes later Kylo was all but pressed up against his side.

Two heavy swallows of his drink, burning down his throat, Hux set his glass down. “Sorry, I need to get going.”

“What? Why?” At that point, Kylo’s hand having dropped to curl around his upper arm, he held on tighter as though he could keep him there. 

Not caring that he was putting himself in Kylo’s lap to clear the bench, he grabbed his coat from the hook on the side of the booth. “I have to pick up food from the grocery store before I get home and they close at ten.” All he needed was milk, and he didn’t drink it that regularly, but they didn’t need to know that. Coat on, draping his scarf around his shoulders, he turned to give Poe and Finn a brief smile. “Nice meeting you Finn, I’m sorry that I couldn’t stay longer. Another time, right?”

“Right.” Finn was looking rightfully dubious but chose not to comment further, taking a drink from his own glass. 

Walking briskly to the bar, calling for Rey to claim her money, a ten-dollar bill waiting for her on the ledge, he sidestepped several patrons who were getting up from their stools, to get to the doors before Kylo’s voice was any closer. 

Nearly at the corner of the block Kylo’s voice came again. “Hux! Stop!”

“I’ve got to go Kylo,” he insisted, doing up the buttons of his coat. He had one foot poised to street level when Kylo’s hand was around his arm, turning him around effortlessly by combined weight and motion.

“Why are you leaving?” Kylo asked, breath warm plumes in the air. In his own haste he hadn’t pulled on a jacket and he should’ve been saving his words for heat to hold onto.

“I have to go.” Grumbling down to his last button, he looked up, tight-lipped but not too tight to stop him from retorting. “That wasn’t fair of you or Poe.”

“What are you talking about?” Kylo asked, one hip hitching forward, half lazy but half arrogant. “You’re the one running out on me again. To make it worse, you were running out on Poe and Finn!”

“I was more than happy to meet Finn!” Scrunching his nose, and jerking his chin up to meet Kylo’s glare, his lips twitched. “But don’t tell me that wasn’t some kind of attempt at a double date. We aren’t together Kylo! And yet there you were, slinging your arm around me as if to say that I’m yours!”

Cocky attitude slid away, hip and shoulders sinking into place, Kylo silently shuddered as he looked down to a pile of slush that clung resolutely to the gutter. “If I’m nothing more than a game to you, or something you feel misguided pity for, than tell me right now.” Eyes flashing up, angry and glassy, Kylo bit back a pout. “If I’m wasting my efforts on you than I’m more than happy to leave you alone for good.”

“Do you have any idea how awkward this – all of this is for me?” Shaking his head incredulously, Hux grasped out for words he lacked with his hand, coming up with nothing but cold air. “Not just the bar, but I’m… trying. I like spending time with you but… I need you to be a friend first.”

“A friend.” Snorting his disdain for the word Kylo sneered at him. “That’s not what you wanted a month ago. We were going out for dinner, to see if we could be more. So what are we doing now? Going in reverse? Stop jerking me around and tell me what you want out of me!”

“I’m not jerking you around! I do like you!” Breath hitching he lifted his hand to his mouth too late, nearly bit his nails. “This… I know we made mistakes – you, Poe, me – all of us. And I’m not against this but… I need time.” 

“If you wait too long I’m going to be gone,” Kylo threatened, shoulders shaking, trying to repress his rage. “You’re not that special.”

Hux swallowed thickly, telling himself that he deserved to hear that. He was nearly rejecting Kylo, out in the open for all the bar-hoppers to hear, but it didn’t stop the wail that echoed in his head, losing something that he still needed. 

“But… I’m not against this,” he whispered, knowing that his voice would be tight, perhaps teary, if he spoke any louder. “I’m not against you.” 

The next time he looked up the rage was gone, Kylo rightfully confused, and still shaking. Groaning for his ignorance Hux pulled his scarf off his shoulders, moving forward to wrap the burgundy scarf, the gift that he had intended for Kylo all this time, around his neck, pulling it too to try and cover up his shoulders. 

“No Hux, this is yours – take it back.” Kylo tried to fight the scarf wrapped around him, swatted at his hands to stop him. “You’re going to be cold now.”

“Keep it. I actually bought it for you, before…” Unable to say more, hating the want and hurt that curled together in his chest, he curled his fingers into the tail ends of the scarf. Half-pulling, half holding Kylo still, he leaned in to kiss the corner of Kylo’s mouth. Almost nuzzled into his cheek. “It was nice meeting Finn, but tell them the next double date won’t happen until I’m ready.”

“When will you be ready?” Kylo was turning back to him, their noses brushing together, starting to get cold from standing on the sidewalk. Their lips close enough to kiss but instead whispering. 

“It could be soon.” This close he couldn’t look away, his eyes skittering no further than Kylo’s cheekbone before fluttering back up. “But I don’t forget easily. Forgiving is not in my nature, especially when it’s someone I thought I could lo-” Releasing the scarf, trailing his fingers down Kylo’s chest, a watery scoff escaped his mouth. “No. That’s not… I shouldn’t blame you for my problems.”

“I can wait.” Kylo’s words had him relaxing, but it was arms coming around, holding him close but gently, that had him bringing both of his hands up to Kylo’s shoulders. “I’m sorr-”

“Don’t be.” Edging his fingers in and up, so they pressed against his cheeks, trying to smooth Kylo’s regret away, Hux shook his head. “I need time but I’m not giving up.” With that he gave Kylo a proper kiss, cold lips parting slowly.

Kylo didn’t let go right away, for the kiss or the arms around him. When he did Hux felt the first real smile of the night on his lips. “I’ll text you tomorrow,” Hux assured him, backing away from him, not out of fear but because the subway station he needed was in that direction. 

Kylo’s hands came up to the scarf, stroking it before returning a tentative smile. “Can I see you on Saturday?”

“We can,” Hux agreed with a nod. 

Hux didn’t realise specifically what he said but Kylo did, his smile widening. 

We was a very promising word.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Hux asks Kylo to join him for New Years Eve the only thing Kylo asks for is to choose what they do. What could go wrong? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two was hopeful. Chapter three builds on that. ;)

The wonderful thing about autumn was the sense of timelessness. All of the seasons returned year after year, but for Hux he could only see the changing of the leaves like grains of sand in an hour glass, rotating smoothly, over and over. The days getting shorter and the nights longer. He tried to hold onto the calm for as long as possible, even after the first snowfall, regardless if it hit in November or December. 

But December. With no fault to the countless holidays that sprung up, December was just a landmine of events and dates that demanded he moved faster and faster. Even trying to anticipate the chaos of the end of the fiscal year did nothing to abate the crazy at work. The Holiday Party the bosses insisted he attend. Maratelle demanding him to come to the house for their Christmas party on the twenty-sixth, not on account of family, warmth, love or giving, but for Brendol to parade his business partners, past, present, and future, through the house. Not to mention ensuring that there were two separate dates for Phasma. He refused to celebrate her birthday and exchange Christmas gifts on the same day.

Most importantly there was Kylo. They managed a couple of dates around his own obligations in addition to Kylo’s. As it was there was a midweek lunch, a necessity since weekends were filling up far too quickly. On a different afternoon, when Hux was unexpectedly bestowed with a shortened work day, he joined Kylo on a Christmas shopping outing. He had finished his shopping, only needed to pick up a bottle of wine for his parents’ party, but was pleasantly surprised that Kylo thanked him for being a present consultant. 

Kylo was to be out of the city for several days for his family’s Christmas gathering, expected to return late on the thirtieth.

He hadn’t planned on asking Kylo to join him for New Years Eve but before he knew it, he had. 

“What do you have in mind?” Kylo asked once he got over his own surprise.

If Phasma was staying at home he would’ve been doing something with her, as her plus one at a party. When she was abroad he normally stayed in, celebrating the new year with wine in hand. 

This year she was in Montreal. 

“I have nothing,” he finally admitted, shoulders drooping slightly, but not enough to knock the bags of Kylo’s he was carrying on the ground. 

Kylo’s gaze turned teasing. “You invited me to join you for New Years Eve, and you have nothing?”

“I either go out with Phasma, or stay at home.” A pout started to pull on Kylo’s lips, putting two and two together, forcing him to rush to explain. “I want to spend my New Years Eve with you. I’ve barely seen you at all these past two weeks and you’ll be away for Christmas-“

It was remarkable how little Kylo’s face moved, lips or eyes, yet the mood shifted significantly by Kylo’s teeth catching on his lip, no longer a pout but a tremor of hope.

Not flinching away, but forcing his breath to remain steady, he lifted his chin enough to look Kylo directly in the eye. “I want to be with you on New Years Eve.”

“Can I make our plans?” Kylo asked, resuming walking after a shopper bumped into them and grumbled past. 

“Your plans will be better than mine.” With a self-effacing roll of his eyes he followed, trying to avoid hitting anyone with his bags. “Wine and a night in gets boring after the first three years.” 

*

For all their phone calls and text messages (after repeated reassurances to Kylo that he was safe to text him) they had never been to one another’s places. When Kylo asked for his address, he was told to be ready at two and wear something comfortable.

Kylo arrived, knocking, wearing the burgundy scarf, carrying a pair of skates by the tied laces.

Hux tried to not worry too much but knew he had to warn him. “I have never skated before. I’ll probably spend more time icing my injuries later than actually skating.”

“Don’t worry, we can take it slow.” Familiar words, in a different context, had Hux blushing and Kylo smiling as a result of the blush. “So I’m guessing you haven’t been to the outdoor rink downtown.” 

“I’ve walked by it, but that’s about it,” Hux admitted, knowing he was about to get far more personal with the rink than he ever planned on. “How cold is it out?”

“I imagine the rink might be busy, so we would warm up with skating and the crowds, but for the walk there, it is nippy.” Hux nodded along with Kylo’s answer, reaching for his jacket rather than his coat. The coat was adequate for hopping on and off the subway, but the jacket was definitely warmer, and more inclined to physical activity. He checked the pockets for gloves, a grey wool pair that would keep his hands warm for all the times he would be pushing himself up off the ice. Once he had pulled both on, he turned to face Kylo, realising that Kylo’s other hand was now occupied with steel blue fabric. “My Christmas gift for you, which after the scarf you gave me… it made sense.” 

Unfolded Hux was staring down at a thickly woven hat. He couldn’t help but laugh. “I haven’t worn a winter hat – any hat, since I was… probably eight.” He didn’t mention that he gave up hats because of all the times his schoolmates stole them off his head, for him to never see them again.

“You’re going to need one today.” Kylo had set down his skates beside the door, using both hands to guide the hat onto his head, tucking and twisting it to fit perfectly, and pushing his hair into place underneath the wool. 

He was too busy preening under the touches, leaning into Kylo’s fingers, when he tried to peek towards Kylo’s pockets, first his jacket, then his jeans. “Where’s your hat?”

“Ears as big as mine have their own heating source.” Kylo was still playing with his hair, which he didn’t argue with, or laugh, not wanting him to stop. “We can rent skates for you down there.”

Contentment faded with twitch of his nose that he knew caused a wrinkle across it. “Oh, no – no, can’t I just buy a pair? You have your own pair, down there!”

“When your feet are as big as mine, you have to buy them,” Kylo countered, grinning widely. “Now come on, it’s not that bad.”

Taking the subway would’ve taken them fifteen minutes but they wound up walking there, the short cut bringing it closer to a half hour walk. It also meant that they bypassed the crowd of onlookers, cutting closer to the end where the rental skates were. 

“Just like boots?” Hux asked, seated on a bench, skates on but not yet laced. 

“Get the laces tight, otherwise you will be tripping,” Kylo explained, already tying his skates on with well rehearsed tugs, hooking them into place after each cross. Hux followed the motion, the bow at the top double-knotted as he saw Kylo do. “The first tricky thing is walking to the ice. When you’re on the ice I’ll take your hand, and don’t heel toe it. You – it might be better if I show you and you follow the same movement as me.” 

The rosy glow on his cheeks, that bloomed during their walk, waned with trepidation. “I’ll try not to pull you down with me.” 

Before he could reach for Kylo’s hand, on the ice, he was stumbling when a girl cut too close to him, speeding by. Kylo readied to yell after her but decided against it, taking a hold of his elbow and steadying him. “Sorry about that.” 

“Don’t need to apologize. There will be tons of kids doing laps around me,” Hux pointed out, letting Kylo pull him out of what was the circuit path most people were using. He found his balance was steady so long as he wasn’t moving his feet, letting Kylo move him. In the middle of the rink there were other learners, mostly parents or older siblings showing four- and five-year-olds how to skate. “Oh great, I’m the oldest one out here.”

Kylo ignored his mumble, smiling once he eased them into a stop. “So, if you need to stop, the easiest way is to make an upside-down vee with your feet. Don’t press your toes into the ice, keep the whole blade flat on the ice. You just need to… angle your feet out, heels first. That’s the easiest way to stop, there are other ways but let’s keep it simple for now.”

“Simple is good.” Stopping was also good, but out in the middle of the rink, he knew he would need to learn the rest. “So… how easy is it to skate?”

Kylo was a remarkably good teacher, he had to admit. For someone as hapless as him, and stumbling more times than he liked, Kylo remained patient, skating backwards while guiding him along, coaching how to use and turn his feet to move forward. Hux focussed on Kylo and his words, trying to ignore the show-offs who drifted into the middle to do spins and coast into circles, gliding around, arms spread wide, all on one foot. 

“Do they think they’re going to win a medal?” Hux asked after he managed to skate a short distance without holding onto Kylo’s hands. Better than that, he continued skating without hitting the ice. 

Kylo chuckled under his breath, moving with an effortless twist and glide of his feet to come up to his side. His hand settled on his shoulder, what first was a clap on congratulations, before sliding down his arm to take his hand into his. “They are the last thing on my mind. Are you ready to try skating along the perimeter?”

As it was they didn’t head straight into the bustle of the crowd, where everyone was fast and surefooted. They took up a ring on their own, to the inside of the crowd, going at their own slower speed. Closer to the edge of the rink were another group of skaters, somewhat unsteady, which Kylo didn’t want them to hinder themselves, or vice versa. On their own little path, they talked and held hands, the warmth of Kylo’s grip making his fingers extra toasty. He couldn’t say the same thing about his toes, having not thought of changing into thicker socks.

“Are you getting tired?” Kylo asked, interrupting their conversation with an intent look. 

Cold feet aside he shook his head. “No, I’m actually feeling pretty good.”

“If you need a rest we can stop for while, we’ve been skating for over an hour.”

“Really?” He hadn’t thought of how long they’d been going for. His hands and ears were warm, his nose a little cold as he expected it to be, but his legs weren’t tired, and as they had been moving they hadn’t felt too cold. “I’m good if you want to keep skating.”

“We have somewhere to be at five-thirty, and it might take us an hour to get there, so let me know when you want to stop.”

“Are we going to have to change?” He didn’t think he overexerted himself to the point of sweating but he wouldn’t know for sure until he took his jacket off. He spared Kylo a curious look, feeling confident that he didn’t need to look for kids to not run into.

“What you’re wearing will be fine,” Kylo reassured him. 

“Five-thirty,” Hux murmured, skating and considering Kylo’s words. “Are we going out for dinner?”

The corner of Kylo’s mouth curled up, secretive and amused. “I’m not saying anything, it’s going to be a surprise.”

The only problem was, after skating for over an hour, his stomach fluttered at the recollection of his eight o’clock breakfast. It wasn’t outright hunger but he knew he would need food soon. “How are we getting there?”

Another reassurance and a half hour later they made their way off the ice, Hux surprised to find the muscles in his legs protesting once he couldn’t glide across pavement. Retrieving his shoes from the booth was confusing but after a long wait he was back in his shoes, toes happy to have more wiggle room. Rather than leave the area the way they entered Kylo led them to the far end, which took them to the closest subway stairs. 

Hux kept an eye on the stations they passed, wondering which would be their stop, but didn’t pay complete attention, not when he and Kylo were talking. Discussing their own family get togethers, what they all entailed, and if survival had happened with sanity more or less in tact. 

Kylo had been mid-story concerning his uncle, an adoptive uncle since his dad’s best friend was more constant than his mom’s actual brother, when he wound up pulling Hux’s hand off of the pole they had been using for stability. “We’re here.”

For late afternoon inching into evening it wasn’t too busy. For New Years Eve it would be a few more hours until the crowds started forming, knowing this area was more residential than nightlife central. Which made it even more curious. Was Kylo introducing him to someone? After skating, and standing on the subway, he was feeling stiff and a bit too warm for comfort. “Can you give me some clue where we’re going?”

“We have about… a fifteen-minute walk to go, and no, that’s all I’m telling you.”

Street-side, and looking to the backyards, enclosed by fences of various shapes and sizes, to create some privacy from the pathway between station and homes, Hux was a bit wary, and needed one bit of confirmation. “Can you at least tell me, are we meeting someone?”

Noticing that his gaze was on the houses, Kylo quickly spoke up. “No, I should’ve told you that much. There’s a place nearby that I think you’ll enjoy.”

Reassured, and not even realising that they were still holding hands, they walked quietly away from the houses. The street that the subway line more or less ran along was lined with small businesses and side streets that were occupied with more houses. There were small pubs and restaurants, salons and corner stores and coffee shops. He spared them a sideways glance on occasion, mostly telling Kylo about his family relations.

It was upon entering one of those stores, not paying attention to the sign despite Kylo’s veering towards the door, that he was greeted by the pleasant scent of teas and the soft strains of music.

“I made a reservation.” Kylo explained, though Hux didn’t look to see who he was talking to. He was taking in the short hallway that lined the side of the shop, or, as it was, restaurant. There were a few paintings as well as shelves that were lined with decorative saucers and spoons and matching creamers and sugar dishes. 

When he did turn around he nearly gaped, seeing the various tables in the restaurant proper, dressed in fine tablecloths and cutlery wrapped in cloth serviettes. Some of the tables were set up to seat four but the only one that had a reserved sign was for two.

The server beamed when she realised she had their attention. “We would’ve closed earlier but for you and your boyfriend we were more than happy to oblige.” Hux refrained from giving Kylo a look, already catching him blushing from the corner of his eye. Instead they followed her to the table and waited until she filled their water glasses and left to speak. 

Realising that for venting about his family he hadn’t paid any attention to where they were, he looked across to Kylo, a bit sheepish. “I didn’t hear her at first, so… what kind of a restaurant is this?”

“It’s a tea house.” Kylo was confident in replying, but seeing the vaguely startled expression on his face, he continued. “Every time I’ve called or texted you – well, most of the time, you would tell me that you were making a tea, or needed to get your tea somewhere before the conversation could continue. I figured you knew a lot about tea, or at least loved it enough, that you might enjoy coming to a tea house.”

Hux looked around the dining room, finally putting all the decorations and wonderful lingering aroma together. “I wouldn’t call myself an expert,” he protested and despite the warmth of the tea house his cheeks felt even hotter. 

“You know more than me, I’m just glad you’ve never been here.” Regaining his certainty Kylo smiled, setting his water down. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“I’ve never been to a tea house.” Granted, when he was a kid Maratelle went to tea houses once a month with her circle of friends. He had gotten a taste for tea, caffeine free, when he was young, one of the things he could appreciate about her, but she never thought of bringing him along. Or perhaps she wouldn’t dare bring him. Now it occurred to him how much he would’ve loved to.

“What can you tell me about the tea menu then?” Kylo asked, opening up the drink menu that was positioned between them. 

Their meal was not typical dinner fare, modest sandwiches paired with soup, but the highlight was trying out the teas. Their server was more than happy to bring them several to sample before deciding which they would take as a pot with their dinner. And if Hux left the tea house with a small paper bag, two packages of loose-leaf tea inside, it would be a purchase he would use regularly, a gain and not a loss.

“Now we just have one more place to go,” Kylo said, happily pulling him along by the hand. 

“The night is not over?” Hux asked, not able to resist matching Kylo’s smile.

“It’s not midnight yet.” Returning to the subway, Kylo pulled him in closer, the night air turned chillier. Hux hadn’t put his hat back on after dinner and his gloves were in his pockets and yet Kylo was absolutely toasty. “We’re heading back into the city and… well, that’s all you’re getting.”

After skating and eating he should’ve been drowsy but the tea had helped to keep him alert. “Your secrets have turned out to be good ones, so I think I can trust your last destination.” Hux tilted his head up a little. “Or will we have another place to go to afterwards?” 

“That would be up to you,” Kylo countered with a smirk that Hux couldn’t pinpoint the reason for.

Back on the subway, and getting off at yet another stop that Hux seldom used, he was left guessing. He didn’t expect to get on a bus but Kylo insisted, reassuring him that they could take an uber or lyft back. 

“Are we going to be that late?” Hux asked, vacating his seat when an older couple neared the seats they had occupied.

“There’s a bit of a walk from the bus stop to where we’re going.” Shrugging and adjusting his scarf Kylo repositioned his hand on the bar. “I figure, between the cold and not knowing how frequently the overnight buses run, having options would be best.” 

To his surprise they got off and made their way towards one of the city’s museums. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been to a museum, here or anywhere else, and was sadly uninformed of any galleries or exhibitions running. “What’s happening at the museum tonight?”

“It’s a one-night event,” Kylo explained, handing him one of two tickets. The name of the museum was billed, along with the date, no other clue provided. “I’m pretty sure it’s not formal, even though they are serving drinks and appetizer-type things. But they are doing a cosmos show in the planetarium and other parts of the museum are open, doing a Trek Through the Universe.”

“An appropriate idea for New Years Eve,” Hux commented, and frowning slightly when he realised there was no price listed on the ticket. “I can treat us to drinks inside.” 

“You don’t need to do that.”

Taking drinks around the museum might’ve not been the best option he soon discovered, when he realised the foyer of the museum was dimmed to fit the theme. The corridors that were indicated to be the path for the Trek were even darker, the only light provided by the nebulae, stars and other celestial objects that lined the ceilings and walls, the speciality paints reflecting the lights that were lining the path from the floorboards.

Empty-handed of glasses, though Hux found himself gravitating back to Kylo’s side, fingers brushing, he would’ve spent more time with a glass lowered, gazing around at the features. “How long do you think it took them to set this up?” Hux whispered.

“If they were painting all of these directly onto the walls, far too long.” They were following the tail of a comet along the ceiling, both riveted by how tangible it looked. “They likely did all of these separately, like silk-screens, then put them in place on the walls and ceiling. That might’ve been… two or three days?”

“It’s flawless, it doesn’t even look painted, it looks like they are right up there.” Hux wanted to reach up, catch the glow on his fingers. 

“We are just specks of dust in the whole universe,” Kylo murmured. 

“Maybe everyone else is.” Bumping his elbow against Kylo’s he got a chuckle, for the words or the action he didn’t care. Feeling Kylo’s hand latch back onto his he was content to be a simple earthling with his feet on the ground. 

The path they took brought them to the planetarium, the rest of the path cordoned off to let everyone fill the seats inside. 

“When was the last time you did New Years Eve, alcohol-free?” Kylo asked, leaning in as though expecting a dirty secret. 

“A long time ago.” Smirking despite himself he settled in, the seat remarkably comfortable. “Maybe… eighteen?”

Kylo sputtered, then decided it wasn’t entirely impossible, shaking his head. “Well, I guess it is New Years Eve.”

“It was typically the same thing every year at the holidays, when I was trying to avoid my family,” Hux explained, watching him from the corner of his eye. “It was either avoiding them, or keep drinking until I didn’t care what they were saying about me.” 

The lights dimmed and the chatter eased, everyone’s attention drifting up. The show started several seconds later, the background music almost lulling but the narration and images captivating him the whole time. It felt like he was whisked away, to another time and place, floating and absorbed into the ether. 

His eyes never closed but it took him a long time, sluggish and utterly content, to register Kylo shaking him by the shoulder. 

“You okay there?” Kylo asked, looking somewhat concerned, but when he smiled up to him his expression softened.

“Perfect.” Everyone was shuffling out of the aisles to the right, towards the door indicated as the exit. If the planetarium was less occupied he might’ve pulled Kylo closer to him, pressed their lips together, but instead he stretched his hand across to take Kylo’s. “You really went all out for tonight. Today.”

Pleased as he was by the words Kylo somehow still looked nervous. “You enjoyed it?” 

“All of it, you made this a good reason to be sober.” Laughing, rubbing his face when he realised it could sound like an insult, quieted and gave him his full attention, nearly smiling and trying to convey all the sincerity that Kylo openly gave him. “It’s good. It’s been a lot of fun. It’s – perfect.”

Kylo’s sigh of relief could’ve been a chuckle but the squeeze Hux gave his hand seemed to do the trick to prove the truth of his words. It took a moment to convince his legs he was no longer capable of floating but soon they were up and joining the crowd in the hallway. 

His feet threatened to meander as much as his mind did, taking the curve of the hallways, Kylo by his side. Steady and quiet, even though he wanted to ask Kylo what he thought about the show. How he came up with the ideas for the day. Learning together, first Kylo teaching him and then teaching Kylo. Spending the night under the stars, insignificant in the whole grand scheme of the universe but when together…

He regained his footing with a single thought, mind clearing. His throat tensed, words at the ready, but he waited until they left the museum.

Out in the cold, breathing out a plume of heat that evaporated upwards, to the clear sky with stars shining down on them, Hux twisted to face Kylo, blurting a long overdue apology. “I know I’ve been an ass-”

He didn’t get far, not when Kylo met him with a twist of his own, arms pulling him in close. Not that he would’ve broken away when he was kissed at the top of the stairs. Tangling his fingers into the curls at the nape of Kylo’s neck he rocked forward with the tug, deepening the kiss. He had no alcohol to blame for his lack of inhibitions, only common sense kicking in that he should’ve never been fighting any of Kylo’s efforts. 

“Come back to my place,” Kylo breathed when they broke apart, realising roaming hands on a public street might not be the best place for bodies pressing closer together, hips insinuating to passersby who were already diverting their gazes.

That, the hope and need in Kylo’s eyes, a spark in the dark, not mere dust, triggered back to the smirk Kylo gave him earlier. 

Pulling back an inch, smiling but not letting go of Kylo’s neck, he gave him a peck. “Yes, please. I want to ring in the new year with you.”

Somewhere in Montreal Phasma celebrated the new year.

Past him would’ve celebrated the new year in the company of a bottle of wine.

This year, and hopefully for many more years, he’d be celebrating the new year with Kylo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years everyone. :)

**Author's Note:**

> If interested you can follow me over at [Tumblr](http://centurytwitch.tumblr.com).


End file.
